Why not Golightly?

Sae
6 days ago
2 min read

Updated: 5 days ago

Go Lightly, Like Holly Golightly

One of my favorite movies of all time is the iconic Breakfast at Tiffany's. It is based on the novel by Truman Capote, which I’ve also read.

Although the story is often discussed for its criticism and its portrayal of life in that era, what drew me in most was something simpler and more visual: the beauty of Audrey Hepburn, and her unforgettable outfits.

Holly Golightly is a woman selling herself, hiding a questionable and painful past behind childish optimism, charm, and beautiful dresses. She isn’t even sure who she is—she doesn’t even name her cat—because she refuses to belong to reality. Instead, she lives inside her imagination, dreaming of a faraway, too-good-to-be-true future. That fantasy is her way of surviving the present.

Somehow, I see myself in her.Not in her beauty, of course—but in her way of living.

Most of the time, I find myself inside the fantasies I’ve built around me. One of them is Saebloom. It’s a place where I can invent and express myself freely, in ways I can’t anywhere else. Living far away from home has only made that easier—distance creates space for imagination.

But in life, reality interrupts.

Unexpected video calls. Sudden visits. Bad news from people I love.

Paychecks. Birthdays that remind me of my age. Achievement posts from long-lost friends on the internet. The first signal of a changing season. Unexpected health problems. A long to-do list I wrote months ago and never touched.

Anything that isn’t part of my routine or schedule can paralyze me completely. It feels like a heavy, dark blanket falling over everything. These moments drag me back to reality, grounding me hard, unless I go lightly and float back into my fairytale sky.

I’m still not sure what’s right or wrong.

Is it wrong that I always want to be somewhere else, never fully where I am now? Is it just my nature that something I can’t help?

Or is it okay to keep moving until I find the place that truly fits me?

For Holly, it was Africa.

For me, it’s Saebloom.

A friend once told me that Holly Golightly was too embarrassed that her fairytale never came true, so she disappeared, hiding somewhere no one could find her. He said she reminded him of me. His prediction, I guess.

At the time, I was angry. Angry that he thought I was naïve. Too dreamy.I also remember another man telling me, “Life won’t happen the way you want. You’ll see. Bad things will happen.”It felt like a curse.

And interestingly, they were all men.

Maybe reality itself is simply hard. Maybe nothing ever works exactly the way we want.

I wonder if there are others like me—people who want to live “go lightly,” fully aware of how heavy reality can be. Or maybe this is how women romanticize life, how we process what we experience in ways men don’t always understand.

I believe Holly Golightly is living in Africa, happily ever after. And I still believe that going lightly is better.